DONE (sort of) - 20 Questions - Revisited
C'EST FIN!
WE HAVE COMPLETED (sort of*) THE LATEST ROUND OF 20 QUESTIONS!
*Smartbuddy gets a free pass for another question at any time.
So once again the time has come as the requests have re-emerged for "20" questions.
Granted I am quite a private person, however I have agreed (somewhat tentatively) to this second round for a few reasons:
1) It has been politely requested more than once,
2) I rather enjoyed the introspective nature of the first round some questions challenged me to consider multiple views on a number of topics,
3) I'm exhausted, which has resulted in an alarming lack of creativity
4) I am taking Friday off so as to deal with number 3
5) I enjoy your comments and ponderings
That being said, I am going to change a few of the loosely-held rules from the first round:
#1 – Only one question per person per post please ~ Woot! Try saying that drunk.
(#1.1 - I will not limit the number of questions that any one person can ask - if you have 50 questions for me I will endeavour to answer them all - I merely request that they are presented in separate posts so as to help organize them somewhat)
#2 – I reserve the right to “pass” on any question (which will not count) ~ at which time that same person can ask a new question.
(#2.1 - I rarely - if ever - used this rule last time, and likely will not use it this time, but feel it is warranted to cover my backside)
#3 – Some answers may be more based in sarcasm than in fact, but that’s part of who I am.
(#3.1 - Um - yeah - this one still stands)
So there you have it - I await your curiousity should you have any.
Granted I am quite a private person, however I have agreed (somewhat tentatively) to this second round for a few reasons:
1) It has been politely requested more than once,
2) I rather enjoyed the introspective nature of the first round some questions challenged me to consider multiple views on a number of topics,
3) I'm exhausted, which has resulted in an alarming lack of creativity
4) I am taking Friday off so as to deal with number 3
5) I enjoy your comments and ponderings
That being said, I am going to change a few of the loosely-held rules from the first round:
#1 – Only one question per person per post please ~ Woot! Try saying that drunk.
(#1.1 - I will not limit the number of questions that any one person can ask - if you have 50 questions for me I will endeavour to answer them all - I merely request that they are presented in separate posts so as to help organize them somewhat)
#2 – I reserve the right to “pass” on any question (which will not count) ~ at which time that same person can ask a new question.
(#2.1 - I rarely - if ever - used this rule last time, and likely will not use it this time, but feel it is warranted to cover my backside)
#3 – Some answers may be more based in sarcasm than in fact, but that’s part of who I am.
(#3.1 - Um - yeah - this one still stands)
So there you have it - I await your curiousity should you have any.
Copyrighted by Okami 3:36 PM
74 Comments:
I now wonder why you feel compelled to "cover my backside"? Is there something wrong with it? Horribly deformed? Cramped? Glued to your chair?
(I guess this is more poking fun than asking a question though... isn't it. So I guess we're still at zero.)
1) Where does the name come from?
what's the scariest dream you ever had?
Messiah: You already have someone to cover your backside.
I have to cover mine verbally or in a text-based format.
And yes, that did not count as a question.
Ant: Quick question - what does it mean by way of origin and translation, or what is the story behind why that is the name I go by?
Err... both. Sort of. Of course I want insight into yourself by knowing the story...
But it also reminds me of a story some lassie told me whilst I was on a bus heading out of Vancouver about a Canadian legend called the "Okanoggin" or something like that? Thought the name might be derived of something similar...
Ant: There are a few ways in which I can address this, so we will make it a two part question:
#1 – Kotta Okami in a fashion is a play on words. Doug can likely elaborate far more than I can as he was the first one to notice it. Okami can mean a couple of things depending upon the placement of the leading “o”.
Okami – “mistress, wife, madam, hostess, authority”
O Kami (kamisama) – “god, deity”
Kotta – “artistic”
Ant:
#2 - Okami, in actuality, was not a name that I sought out or gave myself. The name was bestowed upon me by someone who felt “I had earned the distinction; the reflection of which was present in everything I do and believe in”.
I chose to take it as a considerable compliment to the way in which I live my life, and have enjoyed being referred to as such for some time now.
Benji:
#3 - My scariest dream had nothing to do with shadows, demons or the macabre.
Mine had to do with overwhelming loss…and yes, this is going to be hard to type.
The building was old sandstone, much like our heritage buildings in the city – but laid out in such a way that it would conjure images of old schools or sanatoriums. There were many floors, many narrow stairwells and many unopened doors.
I remember the place seeming both foreign yet familiar, and that warm evening sunlight was streaming in through the windows and cascading across the old linoleum floors.
I knew that there were many people in the building, many of whom I knew, many of whom I was meant to know and some that I would never have the chance to.
And I knew that they all needed or wanted me. Be it physical or emotional, they all needed or wanted me for something, even for the most seemingly insignificant task or assistance. I could feel them and I wanted to help them. I wanted to be the dependable nurturer that many of them had come to expect me to be, My loved ones, my yet to be loved ones, and ones whom I’d never be able to love. My emotional connection to the building and those within it was crippling.
As I kept wandering the halls and weaving through the labyrinth of stairwells to try and seek them out to help them – I already felt that I wouldn’t be able to.
I wasn’t strong enough.
Sometimes I could only hear them; other times only feel them nearby, but never once did I actually see another person in my dream.
The more I sought them out, the harder they became to find.
As their pleas became more frantic and desperate, so did I.
I remember running down the corridors without destination. How could I help anyone, when they couldn’t help me to find them?
Then I knew I wouldn’t be able to help them, any of them.
My education couldn’t help them, my experiences couldn’t help them, even my love couldn’t help them.
Then I realized that none of these things could help me either.
I felt hollow.
I was hollow.
Then it was silent.
I felt as empty and void as the corridor laid out before me. Completely and utterly defeated without purpose or direction.
I stood in front of one of the windows and watched the last sliver of sun sink beneath the horizon line.
And then I was alone in the darkness, wondering when I would see the sun again.
When I opened my eyes I realized that I had begun to cry in my sleep, and apparently had been doing so for some time.
Realizing this only made me feel even weaker and I lay there in the darkness and isolation of my bed for hours, unmoving, letting the tears stream down my face in silence.
Much like they are right now.
I seem to recall that last time around #1 got tossed out pretty frequently.
I'm with messiah on the backside question. Do tell.
Hope the weekend was stress free and relaxing. I shall return when I've thought of suitable and worthy queries.
Joe:
See #78 for details.
And that did not count as a question, albeit I will look forward to whatever you may come up with.
I don't think I'm needed to elaborate on the Japanese-English translation of your name. You pretty much got it.
Rounding up to the highest multiple of 10, how many smart-assed questions do you think your readers can come up with?
OK, my second question - I often get the feeling that you've got a dark side hidden somewhere (imagery you tend to use, your profile pic, general look of the blog, etc)
Do you think you do? If so, do you try to acknowledge and embrace it, or does it scare you, where you find yourself trying to hide it away?
Doug: Thanks for letting me know - I knew I would be close, but you are the resident expert on such matters.
Well, that and code-breaking it would seem.
#4 - Given that those who read my blog have never been lacking in pith, sarcasm or smart-assery - I'd say the odds are in my favour.
With that - I'll venture a low-ball conservative estimate of mid to high 999,990 range.
And counting. :)
Ant: My reply is forthcoming - I just warn you now that given the intimately personal nature of the question...
It's going to be a lengthy reply.
So go grab a coffee, a tea or a pint of something wonderful and pull up a comfy chair.
Ant:
#5 - I think to say I don’t have one would be naïve and foolhardy, as I think that by the very nature of humanity we all have a dark side of some form.
Unfortunately, I think recalling my dream as requested by Benji did little to improve that image. I find it interesting that you derive a sense of darkness from the appearance of my blog. My last background, avatar and text settings were considerably different, and “the dark side” certainly wasn’t a primary intent when I updated it.
Not consciously anyway.
You had asked me once before if my avatar picture was how I actually thought about my life, to which I said:
Yes – for reasons both pleasurable and infuriating I do feel this way about my life at present. While the corporate life consumes me now, I cannot fathom the notion of being a ‘lifer’ here. Every passing day erodes my soul fragment by fragment and I know that at some time I will find myself at yet another nexus, have to face this present reality and decide what my future path with be. While my job has many wonderful qualities and I value the learning it has provided me, it is only a means to a greater and more rewarding life. As for the bonds of my personal life – that is perhaps best suited for another round of questions.
Seems as good a time as any I guess.
Now for someone who tends to gravitate more towards keeping personal feelings private, I will try my best to answer this as honestly as possible. Please forgive me if I stray off into the inky depths of inane rambling.
From a personal perspective there are two main contributing factors:
a) External life intrusions and occurrences
b) Internal exhaustion, restraints and absence of outlets
So to begin with A):
I. Nothing about my role in corporate-dom has improved. In fact, the opposite is very much the case at present.
II. My personal/social/home life has followed this rather infuriating trend.
III. Due to the daily energy exerted in attempting to not only survive, but improve this particular set of situations – I’m thoroughly and completely exhausted. I feel as though I am sleepwalking these days.
IV. This results in some considerably negative feelings about things in general.
V. Items one thru four is not indicative of my day-to-day life – some good things actually do happen – I promise.
And to examine B):
I. The continued time demands on my life have taken time away from the creative outlets in my life that I love and treasure; among them my writing, my artwork, my dance (to some of you this last one will be brand new information), and others.
II. The repetitive negativity that bombards me from multiple points right now has resulted in a shaken sense of self – I begin to second-guess my most basic of competencies. Just yesterday I had a long-overdue lunch with a friend of mine who made a point of reminding me otherwise, and for that I can not thank them enough. It’s a tough climb back up, but it was a most-welcomed first step.
III. There are a few situations in my life outside of my professional career that are completely beyond my control. Has been for years – the trouble is that while many would think that if it is not in my control why worry about it – the reality of the situation is that decisions and actions pertaining to those situations can have a considerable and dramatic impact on my life – both good and bad. I loathe this. I truly do. I enjoy change and evolution, but this is the emotional equivalent to a roller coaster without a safety restraint.
What it really comes down to is that I am at a difficult point right now – the whole “peaks and valleys” analogy sees me currently trudging through one insufferably deep valley.
I truly don’t think of myself as “dark”, nor would I think that many people who know me would consider that to be a dominant trait in anything I do.
I think having the dark side is a coping strategy. It allows me to try and rest or heal or problem-solve internally while allowing the rest of the world to interact with me from an arms-length, laissez-faire distance.
But the short list version of your question:
Do you think you do?
Yes
If so, do you try to acknowledge and embrace it?
Yes – I can’t deny that it is a part of who I am; it evolves and manifests as necessary to protect me and survive the infliction of physical and emotional turmoil. In short – it significantly reduces or eliminates the aura of vulnerability.
Or does it scare you?
Yes – there are times where it does scare me, but it takes a “considerable” volume and duration of pain and frustration to bring me to that point. When you reach a point of utter collapse – then yes, it would be fair to say that any amount of internal darkness could be considered unsettling. But I have also learned years ago that internalizing it is how I can often best deal with it.
Where you find yourself trying to hide it away?
Within. I usually let it present itself artistically through indirect means. Given the overburdened schedule of my life at present, I shouldn’t be surprised that I am having dreams like the one above, because I simply don’t have time to pursue other outlets.
Yeesh – what a babbling brook this turned into! Terribly sorry - I am struggling to see if I indeed answered your question in any way.
Please let me know if any of you would like me to try and explain any part of this abstract dissertation.
No, that was an excellent answer - I think you quite successfully navigated that passage between being private and yet honest at the same time (which is appreciated!)
Okami.... don't be afraid.... come with me and join the dark side.....
Messiah:
My darkness is a realm and entity all unto itself my dear friend.
What I do notice is that as one of my oldest friends (old in years I’ve known you, not in years you’ve walked the earth)…and one of the few who actually knows me well outside cyberspace:
You’re not disagreeing with my answer to Ant.
Doug:
What were you asking me earlier about smart-assery?
I refer you to exhibit 'A'. :)
I'm still going for the lighthearted questions. (I'm afraid of the deep end of the Okami!)
Do you watch anime?
What a sad dream.
Doug:
(I'm afraid of the deep end of the Okami!)
Oh dear!
I was wondering if these answers may have been a tad too...um...
Raw.
In my defense however I have been asked two questions that were darker in nature, so by default my answers reflect that.
I truly hope that I haven't left you or anyone else unsettled.
(Sorry)
Doug:
#6 - Yes - yes I do. Albeit with terrible infrequency as I am quite a novice on the topic. But those I have seen so far I have quite enjoyed.
Would you be willing to recommend any of your favourite titles?
Hmm, don't worry I'm done with asking my deep questions anyway, I'm sure when I return I'll be asking something about bodily functions or the like...
I'm a bit surprised if your regular readers are unsettled though - the folks that hang round here (toast, benji etc) tend to go for that deeper more poetic stuff, don't they? Whereas I'm usually more about sweary-words and knob-gags - asking about dark sides is a bit of a novel adventure for me...
Ultra:
It still lingers some days.
Ant:
Don't worry - I don't mind your deep questions, but I may be leary about any deep "bodily" questions.
And no, I am not going to make some joke about the word 'probing'.
I don't think that anyone is likely very unsettled, but rather, those who consider themselves to be regular readers tend to find more sarcasm than divulgence of personal information.
That, and the fact that those 2 answers were leaving me feeling somewhat exposed. So I am likely the only one who was unsettled.
You and Toast tend to share commenting styles, as many of my entries don't often lend themselves to deeper more poetic stuff, so much as it does to sarcasm and smart-assery. :)
Asking about dark sides is a bit of a novel adventure for me...
Ha!
To you I have only two words:
Titus & Phelony
:P
No, not unsettled (and not truly afraid, either!) Actually, I just don't feel profound at the moment. Just goofy. Because of that, I find it difficult to ask the inane questions that are coming to mind when the questions being asked seem so ... intimate. (Difficult, but not impossible, mind you!)
Do I recommend any anime? It's been a while since I've seriously watched any, and I'm a little out of the game. Mostly, I can recommend some good ones that are over a decade old: Ranma 1/2, Ah! My Goddess!, El Hazard, Trigun, Tenchi Muyo (these past five titles are all mostly cute and funny), Neon Genesis Evangelion (good for exploring the dark sides of humanity), Kite (this one's depressing, which is probably why I like it). I'm currently trying to watch Lain, but life keeps getting in the way. I'm curious about some of the more recent anime that's gotten attention on the internet, such as One Piece, Bleach, and Full Metal Alchemist, but I'm reluctant to buy any because I don't have much time to devote to any of it these days.
Have you ever fantasized about making out with a member of the same sex?
Doug:
I'm going to pass on this question for the simple fact that you asked me virtually the same question last time.
Really – you did, I went backed and checked. :)
So feel free to ask another question...there’s plenty to choose from.
Crap! I did! I guess I've just got lesbians on the mind.
DSL, cable, or dial-up?
wow. that is scary, and sad. sorry to have brought that back.
it is a scary proposition, but i think in real life your love can help people, as can your education and experience, and it probably does.
Doug:
Really?!?
That's what your mind wants to know?!?
Really?!?
Benji:
Don't apologize for asking the question - after all, I did say that people could ask me anything.
I was just surprised at how much emotion I was still carrying around from that. You can really feel like a twit sitting at your desk at work trying in vain to blink back tears while typing. Thankfully the office was vacant at the time or I would have really felt silly.
I still feel a little overwhelmed at the emptiness that this one dream created. It seems to return every now and then when I have a prolonged string of “less-than-favourable” days (As of late, for example). I could try to describe the sensation of it if I thought my powers of description could really do it justice.
But on the flip side – we are now over 30 comments and only 6 questions in!
Um... boxers or briefs?
OK, ok. Do you believe that preparation for war means that there will never be peace?
Morning person or night person?
Doug:
#7 – Briefs.
Explanation of preference withheld.
Doug:
I might need you to further define your use of "preparation for war" for me in order to try and answer this:
The accumulation of weaponry, troops and training in order to defend oneself against the perceived hostile intensions of another?
Or the accumulation of such collateral when you are the one whose intent is perceived to be hostile?
Or the accumulation of such collateral in order to protect a third party via peacekeeping intentions?
Would it matter if those mandates were requested versus imposed upon by an international body?
…I just realized I could list any number of these potentially bizarre viewpoints on the topic. :P
Sorry Doug, between my socio-political education and the fact that I have military in the far reaches of the extended family..it may be safer to ask another question or have this be a separate posting on its own :)
And what ever happened to “I'm still going for the light-hearted questions.”?!?
Ant:
#8 - Both actually.
Sometimes it depends on the activity I'm engaged in at the time. And that did not sound proper at all.
At any rate, I truly do enjoy both.
That wasn't lighthearted!? (That was not intended to be a question.)
OK. Why did you recently change the background image of your blog?
I see, so those non-proper activities might include, say, brushing your teeth?
And I second the question about the background - it's very purty! Anything to do with trying to distance yourself from the dark side? :op
OK, light-hearted, but boring pen-pally type of question: what kind of sports ring your bell?
If you could have any animal as a sidekick in a fight, what would it be and why?
Doug:
#9 - I felt as though I needed to come up for air, and this seemed a really good place to start.
You like it?
Ant:
Of course brushing my teeth! What kind of woman do you take me for?
#10 - Is this one of these questions where you base my worth by the sports I like? You're not going to go all silly on me with my responses are you?
None of this: "...ewww...she likes hockey?!?"
I rarely get a chance to watch a lot of sports in depth, so my interest is not what could be called "truly spellbinding", with the quasi -exception of hockey and um...mumble mumble...
Hey look! Something's happening somewhere else! Let's all go have a look!
Come to think of it, there are a number of sports that I've always been curious to know more about, like soccer (football - sorry) and cricket, and I really enjoy car racing (the origins of that enjoyment are unknown to me) and the occasional equestrian sport.
And with that, let the judgement begin!
Ultra:
#11 - Um...uh...um...
Damn it - I've got nothing here!
Do I want something vicious and intimidating to throw fear into my enemies, or do I want something demure and unassuming that no one would think could debilitate a full rugby team all at once?
Do I want something that matches my style for a sexy-lethal tag team, or something that would reflect my differences to balance me out?
Ooooohhhh - so many options...not enough coffee consumed yet...
Damn your questioning prowess Toast!
Who is your least favorite actor/actress?
No, no sports-based judgement here - I'm learning that an appreciation of hockey is almost a given for you Canucks anyway...
In answer to toast's question - how about a moomin? Quiet but deadly...
Ultra:
#11 con't - Does it have to be a real animal?
Doug:
#12 - I've always struggled to watch more than 30 seconds of any Steven Seagal movie.
Ant:
It is becoming as natural as poutine is becoming a food group in the U.S.A.
Of course I have just recently learned that we apparently have our own Canadian-specific words, of which poutine was one. Who knew?!?
Hmm - a moomin you say? I'm not sure I could as Titus would get angry.
Do you know how to restart a faulty warp core?
Mine's broken
What's your favourite part of Kirsten Dunst's anatomy?
Mmm... Poutine. I had one the only time I visited Canada. It was the coolest thing ever!
To piggyback on Ant's last question: What is your favourite part of your own anatomy?
Ooh! Ooh! Just read the update... ok, one more qn and I'm done:
Describe the last time you hit someone.
:o)
How often do you clip your toe nails?
Ultra:
#11 con't - I would have a Siberian tiger as my sidekick because they are stunning creatures with the pose, grace and elegance that all large predator cats possess.
Captain:
#13 - Indeed I cleave to the knowledge of how to restart a faulty warp core, but it is going to involve you finding and sacrificing a willing participant of an extinct species and fornicating with a foreign female species whilst playing ‘hide the phaser’ with a shape-shifter.
Interested?
Ant:
#14 - I would likely have to say her jawline / face shape.
Doug:
#15 - My favourite part of my own anatomy would have to be my legs. I love them.
Ant:
#16 - Wow – that’s an easy one.
I never have.
The closest I have ever come to “hitting” someone is a playful slap/poke when I’m far too tired to come up with a witty verbal retort.
But I have never hit, slapped, punched, pinched or otherworldly damaged someone physically out of anger or malice.
Doug:
#17 - As often as necessary, and regularly when I have my pedicures.
Can't have a passion for shoes and not take care of my feet ;)
what is your greatest aspiration?
Still going? Whats the funniest blogpost youve ever read?
Benji:
#18 - I hope this doesn't sound trite, but my greatest aspiration in life is to be happy. Truly happy.
There is a myriad of things that I would like to try, experience and accomplish in my life, but it would all be in the pursuit of complete contentment - for myself and those around me.
YES
Smartbuddy:
#19 - After all this time, I couldn't possibly narrow it down to one.
Captain:
I figured as much.
By the way, commendable use of capital letters for that extra punch of enthusiasm and eagerness.
No essence of reprehensible debauchery there at all.
oh, oh, me, me, me... since my first one didn't count.
will you marry me?
ok... that was a throwaway question... here's the real one:
if you were a carousel animal, which one would you be, and what music would be playing in the background?
Okay...
You and the Mrs. are two of my oldest and dearest friends (in years of friendship, not years of existence), but seriously - she is going to kick your ass for that one! :)
As for the question you actually DID ask, I'll pick the first 2 things that come to mind:
A dragon
Elanor Rigby by Godhead
I'm not surprised.
I'm not surprised.
Going to have to hunt that down now.
20 questions is now officially over.
So... what now?
(Bwa ha ha ha)
You're not surprised that the Mrs. is going to kick your arse?
Your not exactly putting forth a glowing recommendation on marriage there messiah...
And technically, yes we are finally done with the longest running 20 questions that I can recall in recent memory with one exception:
Smartbuddy gets a free pass to ask me something else - be it on another post, or posed as a question on his own blog in that I was unable to completely answer his last question.
#21 - What now? We blog on. :)
happyness is never trite.
just trying to get the last word. just like i had to have the first ;)
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