8-Letter Word For...Clump?
The other day I had to sit through a “quick” three hour workshops regarding “clumping”.
Yes, that’s right. Clumping.
Everyone is sure to notice how that word instantly invokes your senses…conjuring up dimly-lit, sultry images of nothing even remotely pleasant…
Ah yes, clumping – the strategic categorization of priorities so as to prattle on about those lovely little corporate buzz words we’ve all come to adore, such as:
B.usiness Unit Engagement
U.niformity of Outcomes
L.earning Action Plans
L.ife Balance
S.trategic Alignment
H.ealth Promotion
I.nnovative Troubleshooting
T.ime…oh yes, I am going to say it…Management
*Sigh, it’s enough to make me want to scrape the enamel off my teeth. Slowly.
Copyrighted by Okami 2:11 PM
17 Comments:
This is scary. It's scary and I don't want to be a part of it. I'm fortunate because my boss goes to those meetings and kindly breaks everything down into normal-speak for me when he gets back to share what was discussed.
A game of buzz-word bingo definitely loses it's novelty after 3-hours...
Even scarier than the terms themselves are the people that, really and totally genuinely get excited about this kind of speak (the Human Remains dept usually...)
I have never heard of clumping
Doug: Interesting that your boss would do that for you - my boss is located elsewhere in Canada, so we all have to sit through these things as "knowledge enhancement" - or a.k.a - "bum-numbing sessions"
Ant: I don't even think HR would have agreed to this kind of torture.
Ultra: That's only fair given that you had to sit through - what was it called again - an "intention burger"?
:)
Besides, some may notice my selection of the aforementioned buzz words were very much intentional...
Oh I see, are you referring to your own work/life situation?
And here I was going to suggest that "clumping" sounded more like some sort of Eastern European dance...
Oh right. I see even better now.
Clever.
Hey ant! Let's leave HR out of this!
I just can't see clumping catching on. It's too...um...scatological.
Ant: Not really - I was more referring to my work/work situation
Ant: Thanks!
Joe: Ugh - thanks for that.
It was her word, not mine. I just chose to emphasize what I thought of her particular brand of...um...
Yeah.
Feedback burger.
It was the Feedback Burger.
Ugh.
~spits~
Why does clumping call to mind some form of intestinal ailment?
Ahh, yes.
Your acronym already addressed that. My redundancy is only a parallel of "the business", I guess.
Ultra: Sorry about that...
~goes to get mop~
Eric: Redundancy sadly appears to be the building block of all things deemed "modern and innovative".
Including employee training :P
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