6.28.2007

Kingdom for a Painkiller

Seems like a fair trade to me - so long as you don't mind a kingdom full of shoes, art, books and assorted other paraphernalia.

I pulled a deep muscle in my neck yesterday morning and have been in a sorted state ever since.

I can walk and sit (for a while anyway)...however eventually my back and shoulders begin to tighten and I am forced to stand up and walk around displaying my best imitation of having a slab of granite for a spine until such time that the muscles slowly begin to release once again and I can resume my daily undertakings.

And then like the shampoo bottle states: Rinse and repeat.

Like cheap Chinese food, I can only last 30 minutes before having to get up and walk around.

Perhaps the most embarrassing side effect is that it is affecting my voice considerably...it is difficult to remain the consummate professional whilst your voice is gasping through the phone.

How could that not be the sexiest thing ever? Oh wait...that's right...because gasping through the phone is not in my job description.

I am now into glorious day 2 of this state of sarcastic bliss, and I would likely forgo all my worldly possessions for a solution to the problem.

Ideas? Suggestions? Offers of Assistance?


6 Comments:

Blogger Doug Murata said...

Use painkillers. Not the crap stuff that doctors give. Smoke a joint and get drunk off your ass. At work.

Hopefully, we'll get a repeat of you walking around the office naked and you'll tell us all about it!

(And if none of that matters, I'm hoping that a) laughter is the best medicine, and 2) that I made you laugh.)

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love all these posts that go on about stuff at work then have a picture of an alluringly nekkid bird at the end of them.

You totally work at a brothel don't you? (So the gaspy phone voice is just fine...) :o)

OK, sorry - you're in pain and my cheeky sarcasm is probably not helping.

Some kind of massage in order perhaps?

10:52 AM  
Blogger Okami said...

Doug: In a word - genius.

*sigh*....alas, I was hoping that many a reader had glossed over my naked office antics...

And you are correct on both counts, and for that I thank you.

Ant: Glad you enjoy them - I figure that if you are willing to endure my musings about such odd things, the least I could do is to show my appreciation by providing something alluring to look at.

For reasons beyond my comprehension at the moment - it just tends to gravitate towards the human form.

If you actually knew where I worked, you would understand why your comment is so funny. :)

And cheeky sarcasm always helps.

Always.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I have magic hands, apparently.

No good to you over there, though.

Go see an osteopath.

8:33 AM  
Blogger Okami said...

Ultra: And that didn't make it onto your list of best / most unusual compliments ever received?!?

Thanks for the idea though - being well into day 3 of this adventure is beginning to wear me down.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Doug Murata said...

"You know what the difference is between chiropractors and osteopaths? It's the spelling."

-- Eddie Izzard

2:45 PM  

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