Coffeehouse Lingering - part one
I chose to spend the May long weekend at home this year, given that the forecast called for a mix of rain and snow and gas prices were soaring. The lingering grey days were enough to take a toll on the hardiest of folk, and so as a last resort, I found myself venturing forth to that modern den of inequity; the suburbia mall.
With little interest in actually shopping, save for the odd window browsing, I had little option other than to procure an epic cup of coffee and a good vantage point to take in some long overdue people watching. The old adage of ‘watching your life go by’ has just as much wisdom as it does harsh reality.
Among the masses were overtired toddlers fussing in their strollers, newly dating high school teens still getting past the initial awkwardness of holding hands and a great many people who really…really did not want to spend another day at home. In among the kaleidoscope of people were some with whom I had graduated high school – all of whom – every last one of them – with a child in tow. No words were exchanged, just a meeting of the eyes, a smile and nod of recognition and then the moment was gone as junior clamoured for mom or dads attention once again. I struck me as so odd that some of the most chaotic individuals I have every met in my life were now raising a generation of children.
I thought it was profound that they were now on such a dramatic chapter in their life, a sense of evolution and development pushing their lives forward into something more. Except for the one inescapable commonality among them; they all looked so terribly unhappy. I couldn’t help but wonder what dreams they had to put on hold, what life ambitions they may lie awake at night, planning to fulfill one day once the little ones are grown and off to university. How many of them ever planned on being parents – or more specifically, being parents at this stage in their life? When they looked at me they conveyed a sense of longing, as though they miss those days of idle coffeehouse lingering and conversations that revolved around something other than the latest kids TV show characters. These people I had once known were no longer there, instead replaced with an altered version of their former self studded with the dark, harrowing eyes of a captive.
With little interest in actually shopping, save for the odd window browsing, I had little option other than to procure an epic cup of coffee and a good vantage point to take in some long overdue people watching. The old adage of ‘watching your life go by’ has just as much wisdom as it does harsh reality.
Among the masses were overtired toddlers fussing in their strollers, newly dating high school teens still getting past the initial awkwardness of holding hands and a great many people who really…really did not want to spend another day at home. In among the kaleidoscope of people were some with whom I had graduated high school – all of whom – every last one of them – with a child in tow. No words were exchanged, just a meeting of the eyes, a smile and nod of recognition and then the moment was gone as junior clamoured for mom or dads attention once again. I struck me as so odd that some of the most chaotic individuals I have every met in my life were now raising a generation of children.
I thought it was profound that they were now on such a dramatic chapter in their life, a sense of evolution and development pushing their lives forward into something more. Except for the one inescapable commonality among them; they all looked so terribly unhappy. I couldn’t help but wonder what dreams they had to put on hold, what life ambitions they may lie awake at night, planning to fulfill one day once the little ones are grown and off to university. How many of them ever planned on being parents – or more specifically, being parents at this stage in their life? When they looked at me they conveyed a sense of longing, as though they miss those days of idle coffeehouse lingering and conversations that revolved around something other than the latest kids TV show characters. These people I had once known were no longer there, instead replaced with an altered version of their former self studded with the dark, harrowing eyes of a captive.
Copyrighted by Okami 7:49 AM
8 Comments:
That may be one of the saddest, scariest descriptions of parenthood I've ever read. I now feel a need to share this with my cubiclemate who is also a new father.
I'm with Doug on the scary post part.
That said, almost everyone I know that has children talks about how life-altering it is - and how the chaos is more than balanced out by the shift in prioritites and the overwhelming love one feels for the child.
Still, I can understand why, in the midst of a hectic day, they'd
envy someone who was able to sit alone and relax.
Doug: Simply conveying exactly what it was...sorry if it brought you down.
Joe: Of course it's life-altering; the difference being whether or not those people are prepared to have their life altered or not. Parents often subconsciously resent a child who comes into their lives before the parents felt they were 'ready' – and the child is raised with that reality imposing itself upon their existence. Every experience, every relationship and every personality trait of those children will be affected by it. There are those people whose primary goal in life is to be a parent and that drive to them is paramount above any other goal in life. Many people however wind up having children by accident with partners they have little to no interest in being with and with whom they have virtually nothing in common.
Unfortunately that is more the norm than the exception and many of my friends and colleagues have found themselves parents as a result of blind lust and bad decisions than out of any remote interest of raising a child.
Brought me down!? Hardly! I found it to be most enjoyable! I read that last paragraph over and over. It was like some fascinating passage one would analyze in an English Lit class. I imagined a professor telling a room full of bored students for the benefit of a scant few enlightened minds why the writing of Okami, with this depressing and profound look into North American parenthood, should be thrust into the echelons of the great writers who have surpassed time.
Also, I thought it was kinda funny!
I've had moments like this before.
Makes me want to grab onto my dreams with both hands.
I'm more cynical when I see this scene - I think they have actually reached the pinnacle of their dreams.
They just didn't ever shoot too high for fear of failure...
Doug: Thanks! The compliment made me laugh and I think I was long overdue for one of those.
Ultra: Grab and grope my friend. I'm more worried that somewhere along the way I may have lost sight of mine, but more of that to come in part 2.
Ant: I think ever bar-star in the Western hemisphere is now wondering where they can get baby doll tees that read "Do you wanna see my pinnancle?"
This is the entire purpose of people-watching... to inspire thoughts such as this. Very nice.
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