Plushies gone wild!
So sick….brain fuzzy….body aching…..and my eyes feel as though they are two sizes too large for my head. Even now I’m sitting at work looking at the computer screen feeling as though I’m wearing a snorkel mask. At least now I know what it would be like to have my head in a vice grip. Highly unpleasant.
Coupled with the sub-artic deepfreeze we have going on in the city (-37 Celsius presently) one would wonder what on earth I’m doing at work at all.
But last night I was bundled up in bed, so full of cold medication that you could see through walls and hear the snowflakes humming little melodies outside my window. I had the television on in order to kill a few more brain cells when the latest Energizer Bunny commercial materialized on my screen.
For those of you who have yet to watch it, I’ll spoil it for you:
Short version: He helps two aliens boost the dead battery on their spaceship, upon which they abduct him.
Long version: Crazy desert antics.
While others may remark on the quality of the graphics, the seeming absence of any Christmas related marketing or the like…
What should I spot on the bottom of the screen as the cables attached to our little bunny’s ears boost the intergalactic vessel to full power?
“Dramatization”
By this point I have had enough medication that I find this little public service announcement rather amusing. Why would it be necessary to distinguish to the masses that a plush mascot in an animated sales pitch likely cannot recharge a spaceship with his ears in the middle of the desert?
Perhaps they are worried that some idiot will wander the desert looking for stuffed pink bunnies and abandoned spaceships, and the sue the battery company upon successful coming up empty on both counts? Um - someone would actually sue them wouldn't they? Forget I mentioned it.
What’s next? Wyle E. Coyote will have to have a disclaimer telling kids not to try this at home? “Little Johnnie – I’ve told you a million times not to drop those ACME anvils on your sister!!” Elmer Fudd will have goldenpalace.com across his hunting cap, and his rifle barrel will read 'Long Leg Lucy's Midnight Madness Emporium' - 'for all your off-road needs'. Networks everywhere will begin pixelating the private parts of all of our beloved cartoon characters in an attempt to shield children from the horror and magnitude that is the truth: It's all just a dramatization.
Coupled with the sub-artic deepfreeze we have going on in the city (-37 Celsius presently) one would wonder what on earth I’m doing at work at all.
But last night I was bundled up in bed, so full of cold medication that you could see through walls and hear the snowflakes humming little melodies outside my window. I had the television on in order to kill a few more brain cells when the latest Energizer Bunny commercial materialized on my screen.
For those of you who have yet to watch it, I’ll spoil it for you:
Short version: He helps two aliens boost the dead battery on their spaceship, upon which they abduct him.
Long version: Crazy desert antics.
While others may remark on the quality of the graphics, the seeming absence of any Christmas related marketing or the like…
What should I spot on the bottom of the screen as the cables attached to our little bunny’s ears boost the intergalactic vessel to full power?
“Dramatization”
By this point I have had enough medication that I find this little public service announcement rather amusing. Why would it be necessary to distinguish to the masses that a plush mascot in an animated sales pitch likely cannot recharge a spaceship with his ears in the middle of the desert?
Perhaps they are worried that some idiot will wander the desert looking for stuffed pink bunnies and abandoned spaceships, and the sue the battery company upon successful coming up empty on both counts? Um - someone would actually sue them wouldn't they? Forget I mentioned it.
What’s next? Wyle E. Coyote will have to have a disclaimer telling kids not to try this at home? “Little Johnnie – I’ve told you a million times not to drop those ACME anvils on your sister!!” Elmer Fudd will have goldenpalace.com across his hunting cap, and his rifle barrel will read 'Long Leg Lucy's Midnight Madness Emporium' - 'for all your off-road needs'. Networks everywhere will begin pixelating the private parts of all of our beloved cartoon characters in an attempt to shield children from the horror and magnitude that is the truth: It's all just a dramatization.
Copyrighted by Okami 12:48 PM
6 Comments:
i was going to say something creative using the words "alien", "bunny", "duracell" and "anal probe" and then decided not too.
the little white text at the bottom of those ads just get worse every time.
Heh heh!
I guess I had better stop sifting through the dunes for rabbits and flying saucers then.
So does this mean that drinking copious amounts of beer won't endear me to scantily clad models? Who can I sue?
btw - thanks, messiah.
Messiah: Um - thanks for your restraint on that one. Greatly appreciated by all I'm sure. (and fyi - the commercial was for energizer-not duracell, although you could weave a "coppertop" pun in there somewhere I'm sure)
Ultra: Oh I'm sorry darling - did I inadvertently spoil your winter travel plans?
Joe: I'm afraid not my dear - but I hear that some websites offer a tremendous value on penial enlargements while getting your online degree to finance your mortgage. Some woman would be sure to find that endearing...can't promise she'd be a model though.
Actually - now I have to watch beer commercials to see if they too say "dramatization" on the screen - and fall down laughing if they do.
okami,
i know, but i didn't want to put 'energizer' and 'anal probe' in the same sentence for some reason.
and now you've forced me there.
i'm hoping the abudction of the energizer bunny is actually a way for them to finally change their marketing.
maybe some cute little fluffy animals on a pure white background. no wait... that seems eerily familiar for some strange reason....
You did, but I would have only exagerated what happened and labelled it a dramatization anyway, so it's probably best that I cancel the whole trip and stick to dynamiting weasels in my backyard.
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