"No Comment"
I was just informed that I am to be interviewed by a reporter in the not-too-distant future.
Oh joy - let's see what could possibly go wrong:
Exhaustion mixed with apathy, and an extreme dose of sarcasm...
Oh yeah, this will be a gong-show - no doubt about it.
I can just see the first comment that will fly out of my mouth if they try to point a camera at me:
"Don't bother darling, I don't show up on film"
This is doomed.
Oh joy - let's see what could possibly go wrong:
Exhaustion mixed with apathy, and an extreme dose of sarcasm...
Oh yeah, this will be a gong-show - no doubt about it.
I can just see the first comment that will fly out of my mouth if they try to point a camera at me:
"Don't bother darling, I don't show up on film"
This is doomed.
Copyrighted by Okami 4:43 PM
13 Comments:
Hello there,
An interview, how exciting! Why so down?...you must be a VIP if a reporter is looking to interview you on camera.
Can you shed some more light on the interview, that's if you don't mind...
Andy
Getting interviewed by a reporter, eh? I'll just wait until Joe makes a comment. He's in HR and dating a reporter. We're talking about somebody with some serious interview experience! Ah, the glory of the internet: bringing together a diverse set of miscreants so that they may believe their lives are all the better for it!
Remember, if you feel trapped, just say "Wheep!" in a sultry voice. Also do a striptease.
I assume you will be sharing the video with all of us.
This sounds suspiciously like the plot for 'Interview with the Vampire.'
You not showing up on film, reporter taking notes about you.
That explains your art collecting.
I bet you've been alive for centuries haven't you? You've been buying up stuff in the dark ages that you knew you could sell for a fortune here in the present.
I got your number!
Clearly this interview will need to be posted on YouTube.
Ultra...if you have Okami's number, you should post it so that we can call her at all hours with interview tips.
Okay, It's:
555-55-55555-5-55
5
5
Wow! What an easy number to remember!
Andy: VIP?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – oh my no. I don’t think that I am VIP material – I’m just me. This is what makes the notion of an interview so surreal.
It’s a newspaper reporter and for reasons that aren't entirely clear to me as yet. I was approached by the reporter and the newspaper via a third party (in the U.S.A.) who and I quote: "We were generating some ideas for interviews and article submissions and your name was brought up in the conversation"
I choose to take that as a compliment.
Doug: Ah yes, I'm sure reading bizarre antics, opinions and eBay postings on my blog is precisely the use that the 'Net creators envisioned as they toiled laboriously over their marvelling masterpiece…
On the flip side of the coin, it did bring us all together, so maybe there is something good to all this.
Grant: And if the reporter is a woman, I can assume that not only should I continue with your suggested course of action, but ask her to join me and take lots of pictures for you?
Ultra: I could linger in the realm of subconscious immortality far longer than anyone could exist in the conscious one. That said, you agree to keep what you know a secret, and I’ll see to it that your descendants are exceptionally well taken care of.
Joe: That is the only advice you have for me?!? What kind of reporter are you seeing anyway? I have to face a card-carrying member of the press and you have access to such a member – wait a minute….what were we talking about??
Ultra: *sigh* Now I’m forced to wander the earth for all time, spitting in the tea of your descendants in retribution for this heinous breech of confidentiality…pity.
Doug: Should you want to write my number on your hand – my suggestion would be to start just below your elbow and work your way down to the tips of your fingers. That should get you about two-thirds of the number and you can guess the rest.
Well, maybe not bizarre antics or eBay postings on your blog, per se, but opinions were definitely part of what they had in mind. It was all to have a decentralized network of computers to keep communication lines open in the case of a nuclear attack. With the internet, if one server goes down, others pick up the slack. You can't destroy the network by taking out just one computer. Also, it was a great way for professors, scientists, and doctors to communicate findings to one another. In the academic circles, it was all about bringing people together even though they were miles apart. In that sense, we are using the internet for exactly what it was intended!
i'm pretty sure your apathy and cynicism will see you through.
i look forward to seeing the article.
assuming the interviewer survives the process of course.
Ultra: I know....I know....
Doug: "...professors, scientists, and doctors to communicate..."
Oh yeah, we've got that in spades. Nothing but us dangerously intellectual types around here. :)
Messiah: Aww - thanks. Becuase I'm not in the slightest. At all. Even remotely. The reporter will be fine, it's my health and wellbeing that concerns me at present.
What? I'm a doctor. Are you telling me that you aren't?
I've got my doctorate in awesome!
Doug: HA!
The closest I come to that is the Certificate of Recognition that LMizzle awarded me for "Keepin' it Real"
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