Close Quarters ~ Pt. 1
On one of the most beautiful days last week, the sky was a dazzling blue, the sun was strong and warm, and there was just enough of a breeze to cool you down as you walked. It was within this picturesque setting that I had to embark upon an adventure that I loathe immensely; I had to take public transit. Now I know that it is better for the environment, and I'm all for environmental causes - ask anyone that knows me...however...I draw the line at public transit. Typically I have had to ride it first thing in the morning with business people who climb aboard with their briefcases, newspapers and travel mugs containing various caffeinated concoctions. I don’t mind them one bit; they sit among their own thoughts and issues, sipping away in a feeble attempt at consciousness before embarking on their work day.
But should you have the misfortune of taking transit shortly after that, you get stuck with the tweens and the high schoolers…*shudder*
Their mindless nattering about who got how drunk at so-and-so’s party and who slept with whom and who got so stoned can go on and on for hours without reprieve. Some friends of mine have been able to overcome such obstacles via big books and very loud music. However, I got to experience something unique this day…I got to ride transit in the middle of the day. Nothing quite prepares you for the oddity that is public transit in the middle of the day in the middle of the work week. Hmm…where to begin?
Perhaps the woman sitting directly behind the driver would be a good place to start ~ she had fallen asleep. Not dozing mind you, but actually snoring. She neglected to awaken despite every hard bump the bus navigated over, and then it happened…
Her purse came crashing to the floor ~ spilling the contents far and wide down the aisle.
She continued to sleep.
The driver actually stopped the bus at this point and shook her awake. Everyone then got to assist in locating and retrieving her missing items. Everything was gathered up except for one item; her “discreet” tampon case, which had hit the floor, smashed open, and had scattered shiny new tampons all over the bus. With every corner they rolled to the left and right of the aisle; bouncing off people’s feet and backpacks like a pinball machine. Every touch of the brake sent them sailing forward, assailing our driver’s feet ~ and one even tumbling out the door when a passenger boarded at one stop.
My jaws were aching as I clenched my teeth so as not to laugh too hard. At this point this poor woman, who was already crimson with embarrassment, looked as though she would endure the near impossible journey of walking home just to salvage some form of dignity.
But should you have the misfortune of taking transit shortly after that, you get stuck with the tweens and the high schoolers…*shudder*
Their mindless nattering about who got how drunk at so-and-so’s party and who slept with whom and who got so stoned can go on and on for hours without reprieve. Some friends of mine have been able to overcome such obstacles via big books and very loud music. However, I got to experience something unique this day…I got to ride transit in the middle of the day. Nothing quite prepares you for the oddity that is public transit in the middle of the day in the middle of the work week. Hmm…where to begin?
Perhaps the woman sitting directly behind the driver would be a good place to start ~ she had fallen asleep. Not dozing mind you, but actually snoring. She neglected to awaken despite every hard bump the bus navigated over, and then it happened…
Her purse came crashing to the floor ~ spilling the contents far and wide down the aisle.
She continued to sleep.
The driver actually stopped the bus at this point and shook her awake. Everyone then got to assist in locating and retrieving her missing items. Everything was gathered up except for one item; her “discreet” tampon case, which had hit the floor, smashed open, and had scattered shiny new tampons all over the bus. With every corner they rolled to the left and right of the aisle; bouncing off people’s feet and backpacks like a pinball machine. Every touch of the brake sent them sailing forward, assailing our driver’s feet ~ and one even tumbling out the door when a passenger boarded at one stop.
My jaws were aching as I clenched my teeth so as not to laugh too hard. At this point this poor woman, who was already crimson with embarrassment, looked as though she would endure the near impossible journey of walking home just to salvage some form of dignity.
More eclectic passenger adventures to come ~ this was after all, a lengthy journey...
Copyrighted by Okami 1:31 PM
11 Comments:
what!? no microfilm? where is ze microfilm?
Perhaps contained within one of these shiny new applicators? Of course, one must consider just how badly would you want to see "ze microfilm?"
And that's exactly why I never carry those things around with me. Well, one of the reasons anyway.
It's funny that you should post about this as I was just thinking about the difference between rush hour commuters and mid-day commuters as I rode to and from my interviews today. Great minds think alike, I guess.
Or, rather, your great mind and my mediocre mind had a similar thought one time.
Joe: One of many reasons you don't carry them I'm sure. My experiences of people watching spilled over past the bus occurances, and into the remainder of my week. Needless to say, I have about a full week's worth of entries down on paper right now...
And I highly doubt a mediocre mind would be interviewed for management ~ so think again.
Oh, [insert deity of your choice here]! If ever there were a reason to be anti-environment (who would actually take such a stance?) it would be public transportation. I cannot see myself taking any form of transit anywhere. I need my Sheila! (Just one more reason for me to thank you for introducing me to RvB. I've now named my teal Toyota Corolla "Sheila." My wife calls her teal Toyota Corolla "Caboose." Ugh.)
The only reason for such an abomination of transportation is to provide us with laughter at the expense of others. I applaud you for this and for sharing your experiences with us so that we may all laugh together!
Doug: I'm absolutely delighted that you love RvB so much ~ of course, the fact that both you and your wife drive identical cars is a little new to me...
But not to worry - there are further adventures in transit to be forthcoming...including "Destructive Magic"
I can't wait for "Destructive Magic!"
The car thing was coincidental. I got that car before we met, and her car used to belong to her parents (which they also had before we met.) It was given to her when she graduated from college. Mine is a '96 and her's is a '95. They almost look identical (except for the few things they altered between years, like the rear turn-signal covers,) and they both just happened to be the exact same color.
Beg to differ on the mediocre mind / management thing. In fact, it appears to be a prerequisite for many of the positions.
Our local public transport is best known for people getting mugged. They have their own police force, but it doesn't seem to help much. It provides me with yet another reason to avoid the third circle of Hell (public transportation). But what do I know of your Western culture. わたしわにほんじんです。
Doug: I think it's cute, albeit a tad odd that you and your wife have the same vehicle. It's merely one other commonality you two must share.
Joe: Well, so long as you beg. (Sorry, the set-up was too easy to let that one slide)
Grant: Your public transportation has its own police force?...um... eep.
HDD: ew ew ew ~ icky mental images...ugh...hence why I made sure to say "shiny new tampons"
But it was terribly funny ~ so hard not to laugh, you could tell how mortified she really was...
...hee hee hee...
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