Ultra ~ I'm worried about Bristol
While wandering as I tend to do in search of human oddities and stupid happenings, I discovered that Ultra's place of residence, Bristol, is currently contending with a somewhat unusual legal battle. And I thought things couldn't possible go wrong in Bristol besides the domestic disputes by neighbours and the lunatics on the grass...and the lawn...
I mean really - how can anything go wrong in a place that has the world's market on SmutTV?
First of all - what the hell does "puts wind up school" mean? How do you put wind up anything exactly? No no, please tell me ~ pictures may help here.
A deputy headteacher is suing Bristol city council for £1m because it refused to replace a chair which emitted a "farting" noise every time she sat down, regularly making her the subject of jokes. Sue Storer, 48, is claiming constructive dismissal and sex discrimination, after leaving her £48,000-a-year position as deputy head of Bedminster Down secondary school in Bristol last September.
Constructive dismissal? Over a chair? Over an old chair that made a sound? Are you kidding me? I know that as a woman, I am often complaining how older chairs are always making lewd remarks to me when I sit on them. Oh, wait a minute...
Sexual discrimination over a chair? Um - even that didn't sound right. Sorry, let's try that again.
How can a chair be used in sexual discrimination? Damn it - all right never mind, you get my point.
The former art teacher told a tribunal she inherited an old, uncomfortable chair when she started at the school and asked for it to be replaced. But the new chair proved equally unsatisfactory. "It was very embarrassing to sit on," she said. "I asked for a chair that didn't give me a dead leg, or make these very embarrassing farting sounds. It was a regular joke that my chair would make these farting sounds, and I regularly had to apologise that it wasn't me, it was my chair."
"A chair that didn't give me a dead leg"? Perhaps there were other forces at work here. I can't recall a chair ever giving me a "dead leg" before. A numb bum maybe...
Mrs Storer added that the chair caused her distress, especially on parents' evenings. Matters came to a head when the two other deputy heads - both male - got new executive seats in their offices, and she was overlooked. "I had specially requested a chair under health and safety regulations and I didn't get one. Yet my male colleagues managed to get new, executive-style chairs," she told the tribunal.
As a woman, I'm embarrassed by this. I'm not sure I can comment on this without it sounding like a rant about stupid people. Hey wait a second, that's why this very blog exists! Splendid! I'm sure that in her mind, every parent is questioning her teaching ability based upon the frequency of her apparent ass-chatter. I know that I would - especially if she wanted to discuss how my child was misbehaving with their "frequent outbursts in class."
Mrs Storer said the chair issue was part of a catalogue of sexist, bullying behaviour which undermined her position at the school and left her severely depressed. The hearing was adjourned to allow the tribunal to reach its decision on her claim for 17 years of lost earnings and pension, which is expected in the next two weeks.
A catalogue? She had a catalogue of documented behaviour and decided that an old chair was her best complaint? Me thinks as an art teacher, she has been around the fumes too long. Somehow I doubt that sitting in a chair is the source of her depression, unless it is causing her ass to expand threefold as a result. I know that the next time I want to bully someone, I'm gonna make 'em sit in a chair. Yeah baby...you sit your little punk ass down and let the cellulite work its mojo. Aw yeah.
17 years of lost earnings?!?!? It's a chair! If this theory actually pays off for her ~ look out Ultra. I'm going to move to Bristol and lodge a complaint that in 4th grade, I had to sit on blue carpet when I actually wanted it to be red. It made me horribly depressed as a child, and resulted in my mocking red and blue Olympic mascots that taunt me with their "all-Italian passion".
That's gotta be worth a couple million at least.
Copyrighted by Okami 10:36 AM
9 Comments:
sadly, i believe that claim may actually be worth a couple million... lira.
i myself love stupid people - you just can't write stuff that funny.
Reminds me of the old description of an adverb - you know the one... anything a chair, er... i mean a cat can do.
She should just be happy she was regular... (and one more....) i guess you could say she was the butt of that joke ;)
really, it sounded funnier in my head again
Dead leg sounds like more of a male complaint to me - and if you can blame it on a chair, all the better.
"I swear this has never happened before, baby. It must be that chair I sat in today! It gave me dead leg!"
Anyway, stop picking on Neve and Gliz and their "tutta la passione Italiana" - the love that dare not speak it's name.
Messiah: Well isn't that handy that the lira doesn't exist anymore. :)
(Still a few million Euro is a little over $2.8 million CDN - nice trade-off)
Joe: So which would be better: Dead leg or Peg leg?
As for Neve and Gliz - I will never forgive two inanimate blobs for making a mockery of the synthetic Olympic spirit...
Good question. A dead leg might be embarassing for the moment (um...not that I'd know), but a peg leg is permanent (um...not that I'd know).
This made the headlines of the local papers yesterday.
you are right to worry.
Bedminster is a strange place. I lived there for 6 months with the two fellow that animate Wallace and Gromit.
I think Monkey knows someone who knows the lady in question.
The claim is ludicrous and will finish the woman's career.
I'm going to steal her chair for myself.
it sounds like fun.
Literally.
Joe: Sure...that sounded plausible.
Ultra: How odd is it that I beat the local papers to this? :)
I'm more intrigued with the notion that you bunked with the Wallace and Gromit guys.
In hindsight - that phrasing in no way reflected what I actually meant to say...sorry...
And Monkey should probably deny any potential linkage to this loon if at all possible...or have a billboard made mocking her farting chair.
Honestly, I would reserve judgement until I knew how much harrasment she got over the farting noises.
Hypothetically:
She may have been teased by co-workers and stundets and may have had a lewd nickname. Requesting a chair is a simple act. So before I dismissed this case I would wonder, why not give the lady a chair, seriously?
Like you said, it's just a chair.
Of course, on the otherhand I am still open to the idea that she is batshit crazy.
She was actually the deputy head, and was quite capable of organising her own replacement chair.
But the chair is one incident in a long line that she claims ruined her life.
Including a burping fax machine and a printer wot soils itself, like.
Xray: Hmm - true true, but I'm still leaning on the side of batshit crazy myself. I mean she couldn't find a chair in 17 years of employment? Hell, just start standing at that point.
Ultra: "ruined her life?!?!"
Oh yeah - Definitely batshit crazy.
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